When the feeling of loneliness stopped being a burden in my life, I discovered that even in the saddest memories I could find a spark of life. I don't want this to sound like a fake self-help message, I just want to talk about my discovery of the grays in a life that had always appeared to me in black and white.
Unfortunately, I am a person who has always been a victim of her emotions, and these have always been an up and down: if I am happy, the happiness overwhelms me, and it closes my eyes, takes me to make impulsive decisions, to leave, to drink, to dance, to jump from the highest building to the bed of the first person in front of me and after running out I feel like the queen of the world, and then drown in the depths of the wells, in the midst of a thousand ghosts, surrounded by regrets and unable to prepare even for breakfast or take care of my personal hygiene.
I was tired, I supposed that my Venus in Virgo made me see everything on earth as extremely horrible, there was nothing that I thought was cute in a gray world, full of smog, garbage and noise. Well, there's always been something. The human being has never been one of my favorite creatures in the world, however, many of our behaviors are what keep my thoughts constantly busy.